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The day day is close!
The award season is so long that America could become a crypto -fascist autocracy faster than Hollywood could decide which “Emilia Pérez” song Diane Warren Should lose for, but good news: at least one of these things will be over at the end of the weekend.
The votes have been made, the campaigns have been campainfus, and the predictions have been made and then recreated again and then distorted by the Sag Awards in the last second. At this point all that is left to hand out some trophies and see how many bracelets Kieran Culkin decides to carry on the big night.
As a professional movie critic, Oscar is obviously below me. And as a professional film critic, I am also physically unable not to share every single opinion I have about them as if my life depended on it. So instead of all the exciting new films to cover, this week’s edition of “In Review” will be completely devoted to an exhaustive summary of who I think should win in every movie category.
Ok, let’s get into it:
Best actress
Monica Barbaro (“a complete unknown”)
Ariana Grande (“Wicked”)
Felicity Jones (“The Brutalist”)
Isabella Rossellini (“Conclave”)
Zoe Saldaña (“Emilia Pérez”)
I love Isabella Rossellini. I respect Isabella Rossellini. I treasure Isabella Rossellini. I have … no recovery about Isabella Rossellini who actually does anything in “Conclave.” I am pretty sure there is a big shot of her dazzling on anyone, and no one on earth can place a folder on a table with such eternally condemned side eyes, but I do not know … Much that I would enjoy a return to the days when Dame Judi Dench could earn a nomination from any display minutes of screen. Which is a shame, because the range is so brutal this year that it feels like it was chosen by the same madmen who choose the challengers for the best original song – you can probably replace Felicity Jones for Diane Warren without anyone even noticing it.
Ariana Grande was fantastic, but tragic in “Wicked.” Zoe Saldaña has given no less than five better performances as foreign than she does as a lawyer in “Emilia Perez.” Monica Barbaro … Is there anyone who lives who was not completely wowed of her in “a completely unknown”? Much that I was loved to Edward Norton’s Pete Seeger, Barbaros Joan Baez is the only person in the movie who does not seem to know that she is in someone else’s biopik. She sings like an angel, she gives a lively sense of history in every scene, and her pure willpower is simply too strong to be folded into Bob Dylan’s constantly influencing myth. Much that I wish that this movie had been half as interesting or engaged as Timothée Chalamet’s leading performance, Barbaro does a miraculous job of supporting his efforts no matter how she can.
Best makeup and hairstyle
“Another man” (Mike Marino, David Presto and Crystal Jurado)
“Julia Coal Floch,
“Nosferato” (David White, treat Laader and Suzanne Stokes-Mount)
“The Substance” (Pierre-Olivier Persin, Stéphanie Guillon and Marilyne Scarslli)
“Wicked” (Frances Hannon, Laura Blunt and Sarah Nuth)
For most years I would recall myself from weighing this category because – and I have MRI scan to confirm this – I have tragically never developed the part of the human brain that allows people to notice when someone wears a wig. Realize that Cate Blanchett did not sport his own hair in “Carol” was the closest that I have ever experienced to the last scene with “the usual suspects.” If you told me that the cousin actually looks like it in reality I would believe you without hesitation.
That being said, some scenes in the “subject” led to suspecting that some minor adjustments had been made on the role’s natural performances. While Oscar should not necessarily be assigned the film with the most makeup and hairstyle, I believe that a special consideration should be given to the film that does most with it, and there is no comparison between the other nominees with the amount of story and details that Coralie Fargeat’s body horror is most with the appearance of their characters.
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You can look at “The Substance” with the sound of and still understand all herself disgusting aspects of Elisabeth Sparkle’s de-evolution from middle-aged Stunner to nightmare Swamp-Ak, such as Pierre-Olivier Persin, Stépehanie Guillon and Marily Scarsellis Meriless’s attention on details. No disrespect to the decay in “Nosferatu”, but the pursuit of Agelessness has never been uglier, Squishier or more spectacular than it is here. Long after most of this year’s nominated films have been forgotten, memories from Monstro Elusue will remain.
Best international feature
“I’m still here”
“The girl with the needle”
“Emilia Pérez”
“The seed from the holy figs”
“Flow”
I have been pleased to see this category become something of a thought in recent years, because 1.) It is still completely Borked that Oscar goes to the winner’s country of origin rather than the filmmakers, and 2.) The category has only become so boring because one of the nominees is now reliable in the best picture so good (and so that is a lot, but guaranteed to win So good (and thus everything without guaranteed to win), which is a very positive reflection of Academs that is now to the bundle that is everywhere.
But the plot is thickened. Now, for what I think is the first time ever (I don’t know, I’m not one of your sick Oscar -Freaks, leaves me in peace), two best image nominated are up for the best international feature. One is a sober, serious and generally respected true story that has become the ashpott story about this year’s award season (“I am still here”). The second is an absurd, asinin and generally regretted soap opera whose story has no actual foundation in lived human history and struck me as the villain in this year’s award season long before we were told that its main actress has a terminal case of poster disease (“Emilia Pérez”).
Which one you choose! I say neither. Both of these films pale compared to the other three nominees, although one of them fades a hell much harder, but my voice belongs to “flow”, which deserves to make history as the first animated movie that ever won this award (I checked it).
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